Girlfriend (36F) let me borrow her apple watch to track my (31M) heart rate for my anxiety. Turns out my heart rate only lowers when I’m not with her. What’s the path forward?
So I have some anxiety. And since I met my gf earlier this year, it’s been worse. I had assumed it was just due to state of the world. She suggested I wear her Apple Watch to track my heart rate, and see what raises or lowers it. And unfortunately, it appears my anxiety is high when I’m with her, and only lowers when we’re apart. It’s nearly an exact match - if we’re hanging out for a day and she goes to the gym or get coffee with a friend, it lowers as soon as she’s gone and shoots right up when she texts me that she’s heading back.
After some contemplation, it makes sense. She’s quick to doubt our relationship - minor things like her spilling a drink can turn into an hours long conversation of “Do you still like me? Can you stand to be with me? Are you going to break up with me?” Even though I immediately respond to the spill with “don’t worry about it, I have paper towels and cheap furniture.” She’s a sensitive woman, and I love that about her as a sensitive person. But I’m always on edge, waiting for the next minor inconvenience to turn into a meltdown. And frankly, it can be tiring to again and again explain that it’s fine if she dies in Zelda, it’s a video game and literally doesn’t matter.
I don’t know how to move forward, or if I even should? Has anyone else run into a similar situation, and how did you come back?
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This tale is from U/TallMusik and I hate it for them both. My take is that you can get so fixated on being in a relationship that you don’t realize you’re better apart. Being stressed can take literal time off your life, and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who will do that to you. What’s your take?