I’m (29F) richer than my boyfriend(31M) and we’re planning to get married but his best friend’s divorce is making me nervous

I (29F) have been dating my boyfriend (31M) for a little over three years, and we’ve started talking seriously about getting married next summer. I love him more than anyone he’s kind, grounded, and has always been supportive of me. But lately, I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy about something I’m not sure how to even bring up. Financially, we’re in very different places. I’m doing well I’ve built a stable life, own my place, and don’t really have to stress about money. He works full-time, but he’s had a tougher path and doesn’t have the same level of savings or assets. It’s never been a problem between us, at least not openly, but sometimes he makes little comments like, “You don’t have to worry about bills like I do,” or “You probably don’t even notice when money leaves your account.” He says it jokingly, but there’s always something behind it that feels a little heavy.

What really got in my head recently is that his best friend is going through a divorce and it’s messy. His friend’s wife is the one who was earning more, and apparently he’s now trying to get a chunk of her money in the settlement. My boyfriend told me about it and said, “I can’t blame him, he supported her while she built her career.” That comment stopped me cold. I didn’t say anything in the moment, but it’s been eating at me ever since. I know my boyfriend isn’t that kind of person, but it made me realize how differently people can view money and fairness in relationships. '

Now I’m overthinking everything would that difference between us ever turn into resentment? Would it make things complicated if we did get married and things ever fell apart? I hate that I’m even thinking like this, but it’s been sitting in the back of my mind ever since that conversation.

Has anyone else been in a relationship where one person earned significantly more? How did you handle that imbalance especially when you started thinking about marriage?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This tale from u/SnappyOrca53 shows that she is definitely not alone. Disagreements over finances is one of the top reasons people divorce in the first place. My take is that any couple about to be married should be okay with joint finances. Not everyone has the same belief system as me - and if you don’t - that’s fine. In that circumstance I think you should come to agreements on percentages paid towards bills, mortgage etc, BEFORE MARRIAGE and definitely sign a pre-nup. The pre-nup should specify what each brought in and should evenly divide what was accumulated during marriage. It’s tough - but what’s everyone else’s take?